2014-03-12 / Lifestyles

Jest for Fun


Lois A. Corcoran Lois A. Corcoran Arranged marriages may be old fashioned, but that hasn’t stopped yours truly.

From day one, my friend Connie’s daughter and my son shared the same offbeat sense of humor. Their astrological signs are compatible and, now that they’ve reached adulthood, the tall, slim, dark-haired pair even look similar. It’s easy to see they’re meant for each other.

Trouble is, they haven’t noticed. So Connie and I, members in good standing of Meddling Mothers Anonymous, have worked behind the scenes to get them to tie the knot.

Our e-mails have seen all sorts of interesting methods. “Maybe we could find some online wedding site and sign them up,” Connie suggested.

To that end, I tracked down VirtualVows.com, where any two people can marry. Actually, any two entities can participate, so salt and pepper could get hitched, too. But, alas, it’s not legally binding.

So I came up with another idea. “We’ll do it by proxy,” I replied. “I’ll fill in for Kell and you fill in for Savanna.” Of course, Connie and I are the same gender and, well, that just didn’t feel right.

Thus, we decided our kids need to actively participate. “Should we let them know or surprise them?” Connie asked.

“Hey, yeah,” I said. “It could be like those birthday parties where guests arrive first and yell ‘Surprise!’ Only instead it would be a wedding.”

She countered with another plan. We could write their vows into a skit like the many they’ve performed together. Her neighbor, a bona fide minister, could play the clergy, and voila! Instant wedding.

Members of the “audience” would be in on the plot, having received invites beforehand. This, thanks to PrintablePaper.com, a site where one can make free invitations.

Our kids would likely be mortified by our efforts, given that the love bug hasn’t bitten either of them. They don’t even voluntarily stand next to each other.

I remedied this when I snapped a photo of them recently. “Closer, closer,” I said, “you’re not in the picture yet”.

“Let’s use it for their engagement photo,” I told Connie.

“Should we tell them they’re engaged or wait till the ceremony?”

“Let’s wait,” I replied. “This vaguely comes under the term, ‘secret engagement.’”

And so it goes, as we meddling moms continue the quest to unite our kids in matrimony. I wonder if there’s a site for virtual grandkids...

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