Jest for Fun
I thought letters to Santa followed a pretty typical format: a greeting, a food bribe, and a long list of coveted items. But after reading the latest batch in the local newspaper, I found plenty of exceptions.
Nine-year-old Collin, for instance, asked for only one toy. His message was far more concerned with the health of Santa’s reindeer. By contrast, 9-year-old Zach said that for Christmas, his dad wants a deer head. Not one of St. Nick’s, I hope.
Animal lovers were in the majority though. A 7-year-old girl wrote, “I would like a pet bird, a robin.” And 8-year-old Malary said, “I would rather have a kitten than anything else, a real kitten, a kitten that’s really alive.” She further drove home the point with “P.S. Please get me a kitten, please!”
Others were happy with the fake variety. Seven-year-old Kasey wrote, “I would like Little Pet Shops except the ones I have.” To avoid confusion, she added, “You can come into my room to see which ones I have.”
Some young authors showed a personal interest in Santa. Eight-yearold Brett wondered, “Do you have kids? Do you like hip hop music?” “Can you send me a poster of you,” asked a girl, “and can it have your autograph on it please, please.”
Not surprisingly, some of the authors were a bit spelling challenged. Ten-year-old Chris asked Santa to hug Mrs. “Clause”. And 7-year-old Lan wrote, “My New Year’s wish is that all the poop people will have enough money to survive.”
Not everyone was as altruistic. Eight-year-old Emily wrote a oneparagraph letter with nine “I wants” in it. An 8-year-old boy wrote, “I hope you got my other lists I sent you.” And 9-year-old Carlee listed only two things but said, “I will send you another letter soon with a lot more stuff on it.”
A few kids requested replacement gifts. Nine-year-old Kendrick asked for “a new Nintendo Game Boy. Your wondering what happened to it? Well, some water splashed on it.” And 6-year-old Katrina said, “I want a new Easy Bake Oven. My dog chewed all the parts to my other one up.”
Instead of the usual bribe, little Kenny wrote, “I will leave you and the reindeer cookies, if Billy dont eat them first.” But 10-yearold Brad warned, “Do not eat my mom’s cookies!”
She must bake like I do.