2012-12-27 / Lifestyles

Burying the hatchet

Lois A. Corcoran

My New Year’s resolutions tend to center on the same boring issues. But I dreamed up something new for this year: burying the hatchet with some iffy relationships. Given my half century on the planet, this could take awhile.

Thanks to Ann Landers, we already have an official day for extending the olive branch. It all started when someone from Van Nuys suggested a time when people could write or phone someone to try and mend a broken relationship.

Ann highly encouraged the concept, and April 2 became known as Reconciliation Day. From then on, reconciling wasn’t just for checkbooks any more.

While plenty of people embraced the idea, it clearly aggravated one in her audience.

“Why don’t you mind your own business?” wrote the Rockford reader. He or she went on to relay a late night phone call from a drunk relative hoping to make amends. “I hope you will not give such lousy advice again. I’ll sign off by saying, ‘Thanks but no thanks.’”

Far more readers wrote with praise for Reconciliation Day and its positive effects. But let’s face it. A day may not be long enough to reach the desired party, let alone the dozens of others on our list. And if they’re on ours, you can bet we’re on theirs.

Hence my New Year’s resolution. The tricky part is how to go about it. Should I call, write, or visit said people in “poyson”?

While researching the matter, I tripped over a poll at Sodahead.com, which asked the question, “What does it take for you to bury the hatchet?”

One guy posted, “Someone to bury it in.” Another wrote, “A good hard throw usually works well.”

Most, however, said they require a sincere apology. It occurs to me that they might be missing the point. According to TheFreeDictionary.com, reconciling means “to re-establish friendly relations.” Somehow, I don’t think demanding an apology would promote a whole lot of good will.

For those whose ego stands in the way, Mary Mitchell at iVillage.com reminds us that “making the first move is by no means a sign of weakness.”

Furthermore, the longer we hold a grudge, the more it weighs us down. So it’s in everyone’s best interestCommunityto forgiveBenefitsand2011forget.for 2012Or at least forgive.

So I’ll give it a try this year and let you know how it goes.

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