2012-10-18 / Lifestyles

Bountiful bloopers

Lois A. Corcoran

No matter what we read these days, we’re bound to trip over some entertaining bloopers.

Even cookbooks aren’t immune. Early editions of the “Pasta Bible” include a recipe calling for “salt and freshly ground black people.” Award-winning news journalist Lynette Khalfani-Cox -- an African American -- reported the goof. “Personally,” she said, “I think it was pretty funny.”

While researching a column, I came across a message about a cafe that serves cappucinos and “lates” -- something customers will be if they sip their coffee too long.

The minutes for a meeting read, “We have a lot of data and ‘appendicitis’ on the web site.” No doubt the booboo brought readers a belly laugh.

I pictured a new kind of vehicle when I spotted a cryptic classified ad the other day. “For sale: Wheel barrel.”

Members post their own giveaways on Freecycle, one of my favorite web sites. Often their typos provide a snicker along the way -- like the ad for an “older, full-size mattress in ‘fare’ condition”. Meaning, I guess, that you pay a toll to sleep on it.

Someone else typed, “To give away: a large bag of drop clothes.” She meant those covers that protect furnitureFlu Shotfrom Clinicpaint, but I2012:conjuredLayout up an image of someone’s frilly wardrobe catching the drips instead.

Blogger Jannie Funster keeps a running list of typos on her site. My favorite: “I’m not a fan of crushing thongs of people either.” Um. Sandals or the other kind?

Then there was the newspaper announcing a book event at which the celebrated authors would be “singing” their newest releases.

The Chenango Evening Sun reported an accident in which “a 1987 moron Ford Taurus was attempting to make a left turn.” Some cars aren’t as smart as others, I guess.

Possessing a similar IQ, a brawny dude paid someone to tattoo on the backs of his fingers the words “your next”.

An obviously intelligent guy composed an e-mail filled with high tech terms. But instead of closing with the professionalsounding “regards,” he accidentally typed “retards”.

Advertising one of its features, a Phoenix motel’s sign played up its “75 foot pool” -- except that the “L” fell off.

And though it was spelled right, a sign at CVS/Pharmacy lacked a crucial comma. It read “Stop in and meet Chirs and Rob our pharmacists.”

Which1 9/goes17/to2012show that3:11it’s PMa crime not to proofread.

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