2012-08-09 / Community

But wait, there’s more

Lois A. Corcoran

After weeding out his belongings, dad gave me a mini food processor the other day. He ordered the kitchen appliance after watching one of those convincing infomercials. Never mind he doesn’t cook and never opened the box.

But wait, there’s more. He bought two of this amazing product for the price of one – unless you count the outlandish cost of shipping. So my brother received a brand new specimen, too.

I must have inherited my dad’s “sucker” gene, because I’ve bought more gadgets than you can shake a stick at.

Years ago, I purchased this exercise gizmo that combined a plastic stepper with a slippery mat. Users slide from side to side, thanks to some foolish looking nylon booties. It took all of two sessions for me to give IT the bootie.

But there are plenty of us pushovers on the planet -- maybe because commercials make products seem far better than they really are. After all, look how happy the model appears after using Acme Shampoo!

TV ads are nothing more than a high-tech brainwashing session.

Furthermore, they interrupt the most exciting scenes in our program. This helps ensure that we stay tuned to see what happens. But nowadays, they run so many ads in a row, I forget what show I was viewing.

Then there are the commercials that repeat themselves every few minutes. As though they didn’t nauseate us enough the first time.

I resent embarrassing ads, too. When I was young, the only “delicate” product I recall being advertised was milk of magnesia. And actors back then didn’t simulate their discomfort like they do now.

We’d be better off if we gave commercial breaks a break. But what to do, besides take a restroom reprieve or grab a snack?

Some people channel surf, but this can be futile, since stations tend to run their commercials at the same time.

Other people simply divert their TV-viewing eyes to their laptops. And if they log onto HolyTaco.com, they can watch “What News Anchors Do During Commercials”.

An article on ehow.com shows a fitness routine to do during commercials that yields a 30-minute workout for a 2-hour show.

We Corcorans prefer to mute ads and voice our own commentary.

But perhaps I should get up and break out that mini food processor being advertised. The one my dad gave me.

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